If you’re anything like me, you might have had periods where you just didn’t feel like you were living your life fully. Where your relationships didn’t quite feel on fire, your sense of purpose felt a bit dim, and your creative expression felt tame.
Like you were playing it safe. Like you weren’t quite sucking the marrow out of life.
I felt that way for a good part of 2023 when I was traveling. It was honestly a tough stretch.
On the other hand, when you feel like your life purpose is unfolding in its truest form, then your life gets animated with meaning and aliveness.
But what do you do when that’s not happening?
How to create a life that feels on fire with purpose and aliveness
I’ve had a few insights recently, and I feel clearer than I have for a while on how to locate that illusory Purpose once and for all.
On how to feel like you’re exploding with LIFE in your relationships and your work. Like you are pulling a magical thread, where each tug only further unveils the deepest expression of who you are in the world.
There is actually a compass inside of you that points at your aliveness.
And true north is a feeling. One you’ve probably felt before. And one you’ve likely avoided.
And what is the feeling that points to aliveness?
F E A R
Fear is an angel pointing you toward life flow, synchronicity, and your magical thread.
Fear is the guardian at the gate of all that’s meaningful.
Fear is the boss of your current video game level—if you don’t get past this three-horned beast, you’ll never advance your plot.
Everything you really want for yourself is on the other side of fear.
I’m definitely finding this to be true about myself. I recently realized how blocked I’d been feeling by fear. So I went on a fear-busting kick. I started to scan for things that I wanted that I couldn’t look at directly because they were too scary.
In the past few weeks, this quest led me to freestyle rapping in a cypher for the first time; going to a queer sex party dressed like the slutty, androgynous, fishnet-clad, iridescent cybergoth I’ve always wanted to be; and trying to put together a “conscious” basketball retreat. These were all things I’ve wanted to do but had been too afraid to touch for YEARS.
I’m not trying to show off here. I’ve gotten my ass whooped by fear more times than I’d like to admit. But when I clearly saw that fear was an angel and not a demon, I realized that I had to trust its guidance.
Ok, so what about you?
Is there something you kinda secretly want to try, but you won’t let yourself entertain the idea because it’s too scary?
Ask yourself these questions
What’s a sexual desire you have, that’s a little scary to admit?
What’s something you want in your relationship life that you’d be scared to mutter out loud?
In your work life, what’s something you actually want to evolve into, but it’s scary to think about?
In your creative life, what’s something you want to create or a stage you want to perform on that drops terror into your belly?
Look for DESIRE+FEAR
And the idea isn’t just to chase any and every fear to conquer (though that’s also useful). If you want to experience feelings of aliveness and purpose, you have to locate that sweet feeling where fear and desire are blended together.
There is no “right” answer to what your scary fears “should” look like
How impressive your life appears from the outside is actually irrelevant. Actualization is subjective.
For example, Cathy might have casual orgies every weekend, but the scary thing she wants is to ask someone on a date.
Pat on the other hand might have a partner they go on dates with, but the scary thing they want is to try an orgy.
If you want to get one step closer to owning your fear, shoot me an email (mike@mikemantell.com) and let me know what your scary desire is. I’ll send back cheerleading support 🙌🏻
Often, making your scary desire visible to others is the first step.
Til next time.
💕 Mike