Hi 👋 I’m Mike Mantell
I help ambitious people create amazing intimacy and sex lives
Maybe you’re in a relationship, but you and your partner have become distant, cold, even depressed.
Maybe you’ve longed for sustained intimacy but every relationship you’ve had seems to fall apart.
Or maybe you feel too confused and anxious in your sexuality to feel ready for a partner.
No matter where you are on your journey of sex and intimacy, you are in the right place.
Over the past 8 years I’ve studied sexual healing, bdsm, communication skills, and intimacy dynamics. And I want to offer you all my wisdom to help you feel deeply connected and sexually vibrant with your partner.
“The consistency of breakthroughs I experienced were a result of unique exercises offered by Mike, including personal challenges that demonstrated something we were discussing or visualizations that allowed me to use the power of my imagination to re-examine priorities, beliefs, and truths I held. “
-Tim, former client
Disconnection is all too common
I know how common it is for people to long for a deep partnership that sparks their sex and warms their heart, but also to feel uncertain of how to create this for themselves, and anxious that it seems like everyone has it but them.
I know how common it is for couples who were once vivacious and passionate to become distant and disconnected. Feeling unexpressed, even depressed in their relationship. Sending text messages during dinner with each other. Petty arguments start to become the norm. The feeling of numbness, the wondering “what happened?” And the recognition that there is still a flicker of hope, but the uncertainty of what to do with it.
We were not taught this
In school you probably learned algebra and read “To Kill a Mockingbird.” But what classes were offered on how to liberate your sexuality, how to transmute a relationship conflict into deeper intimacy, and how to open your heart to another person?
We’ve been given no worthwhile blueprint, and unless you dig around outside of our mainstream narrative, it seems almost inevitable for people to feel disconnected from their own sexuality, uncertain how to communicate effectively with an intimate partner, or in a relationship that has become distant and sexually stale.
I want to support those who feel the call to intimacy
Not all people want partnership. But for those who do want to find a partner, or who want to heal their current relationships, I want to support you.
For those who are called to forge as deep a bond as possible with another person, I want help you reveal the depths of both your soul and your raw sexual expression with your partner, I want to help you learn to stay connected through any relational hardship, and I want to help you fully enroll in your partner’s life journey.
And through this practice of intimacy and relationship, you might just squeeze the most meaningful juice out of life.
Why I care
One of the main reasons that I’ve spent so much time and energy studying sexuality, intimacy, and relationship is because they’ve been both the hardest and most fulfilling parts of my own life.
In my senior year of highschool I remember the shame of being the only person in my social circle who hadn’t “lost their virginity” (a terribly flawed concept to begin with). And so on New Years Eve I went to a frat party at the local college, got drunk, and had intercourse on the dancefloor. There was no pleasure in it. No warmth. No excitement. I remember feeling hollow, numb, and ashamed afterwards. “This is it?”
In college, I remember each weekend getting black-out drunk, and finding a woman to invite me into her bed. Each interaction followed the same dry script I inherited from the cultural zeitgeist. I got drunk, so that I could plow through the pain of my own insecurities and past my own lack of consent. Any time a connection would find any sense of depth, I’d immediately break it off, making up a flimsy excuse. Underneath the excuse I was deeply ashamed of my own kinky desires, and was not ready to be seen by another.
In my early twenties I lived in monasteries. And I remember very sincerely pondering if I should become a Buddhist monk – partially because if I became celibate, I wouldn’t have to deal with this sexuality stuff any more.
My authenticity was too important to ignore
As agonizing as my sexual life was, I wouldn’t give up on it. Authenticity and connection were too important to me to hide my whole life.
And so I marched forward.
I went to bdsm play parties.
I immersed myself with an intimacy mentor, and began to study with other tantra and sacred-sexuality teachers.
I worked at a kinky sex-shop and gogo danced at gay night clubs.
I studied somatic sex education and took academic classes on queery theory.
I developed countless erotic fiction narratives and spent hundreds of hours in mindful erotic practice. My solo sex practice has become the core of my self-discovery and spiritual investigation
All the while I opened my heart to beautiful partners, and let it shatter time and again. So much healing and so much grief from so many loving partners.
With the support of great luck, I’ve landed in a poly partnership of 3 years with an incredible partner. Our sexual connection is explorative, heart-connected, sometimes soft and sometimes kinky. It matches who I am. Our heart connection feels endlessly deep. And most importantly, we feel like we are on a team; shooting for each others’ healing, each others’ actualization, and the beautiful expression of our connection.
While I’ll be exploring, healing, and deepening my sexuality forever, I’ve found myself on the other side of a threshold, feeling genuinely privileged to support others.
To build my capacity to help others, I studied life coaching and co-built an intentional community of 5 years whose focus is exploring human connection. I’ve facilitated dozens of workshops, supported dozens of coaching clients, and run multiple group coaching programs.
And, in whatever ways I can, I’d love to support you in your journey of intimate partnership and sexual liberation.
I was blown away by [Mike’s] ability to help me navigate my own inner world. [They] asked all the right questions, and helped me to unlock a self-empowered determination I did not even know I had. Even when I faltered, and felt as though I had failed, Mike refused to let me give up on myself. [They] consistently helped me to learn from my mistakes, and guided me back to the path I had chosen for myself.
-Angela, former client
You deserve what you want
Nobody should feel lonely in a partnership. Nobody should have to feel like their sexuality doesn’t fit.
I want to make sure you don’t wind up on your deathbed, wishing you had dared to discover yourself sexually with a partner, wishing you had felt the sustained magic of deep connection with a beloved.
Everything I’ve learned in workshops and from mentors, everything I’ve read and studied, all of my skills in coaching, facilitating, listening, and personal growth. I want to give them all to you to aid you in your own journey of sexual freedom and creating intimacy that is beautiful and that fits you.
I want a world with more thriving partnerships, more sexual liberation, and far clearer communication. And I want you to be a part of that world.
So whether you feel lonely, low on hope, and want deep intimacy. Or you can’t seem to hold onto a partner. Or your partnership has become cold, and disconnected. Keep hope. What you want is possible.
I want to help you create a partnership full of sex and intimacy that heals you, that brings you to life, and that has you feel like you have the keys to the kingdom of heaven here and now.
If you’d like to stay in touch
Then you can check out my newsletter where I’ll share my current insights and also clue you into upcoming workshop opportunities.
đź’• Mike