The Mike Mantell Blog

There Is No Such Thing as a Bad Desire

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There is no such thing as a good desire or a bad desire.

Desire is just something that naturally emerges inside of us, and then we get to decide what to do with it.

The same is true with thoughts, feelings, preferences, or any other internally arising phenomenon.

As soon as we label desire (or any other part of our inner world) as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ then we are paving the way for shame to take over, and that’s where shit starts getting wacky. “I shouldn’t feel this thing that I’m already feeling.”

If you feel a desire, and you (consciously or subconsciously) label it as ‘bad’, then you are judging yourself for it, and some part of you will try to push it down or make yourself not have that desire.

But no matter how much you might want your desire to go away, shunning it won’t do that. It might actually make it grow bigger, because you’re not allowing yourself to see and address what’s already there, and then it festers in the shadows and seeps out the cracks.

Like closeted bullies who harass others with homophobic slurs.

Now, I’m not saying there aren’t good and bad actions. While your desires have a mind of their own, you get to choose how you respond to those desires. You are responsible for your actions.

This is important because as soon as we can let ourselves feel our desires without any of them being ‘bad’, we liberate ourselves to experience life fully and to allow for the free and total emergence of our authentic inner world. Once this occurs, you can take wise actions and allow for the free and total emergence of your authentic outer world.

It’s not bad to want a lot of money, it’s not bad to have sexual fantasies where you are a victim of rape, it’s not bad to feel attraction to your best friend’s wife. No desire is bad. Desire is its own force.

Accept all of your desires. Let them flow. Let yourself see them clearly. And then make responsible decisions.

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