8/18/2021
Hey digital friends,
I want to give an earnest life update for anyone interested. If anything in this post has you inspired to reach out, please follow the impulse 🙂
To catch this electro-sphere up to speed – A few years ago I quit coaching, podcasting, and the like. I did it because I ran out of money, my confidence plummeted, my business felt like it was choking me as I was trying to be someone else, and I let my wellness habits die hard. I now see why it’s called ‘rock’ bottom, as it is quite firm down there.
Looking back, I think some part of me wanted to crash. I was gripping to life too tight. Maybe falling apart was the best way to make space for a tender hatchling of self to emerge.
For the following year or two I worked at a sex shop and as a model. ‘To hell with ambition!’ I said. I wanted to be a pay-check-to-pay-check American Jonus who just happened to be getting paid to explore their sexuality. It was an informative era, though my soul yearned to pour itself into something bigger.
When covid busted down the doors in 2020, a sleeping giant of personal purpose began to stir in me once more. To help pay the bills I started coaching again, here and there. And it felt….really good. For the first time I was doing it in a way that felt like me. No desperation, no needing to prove myself, no hanging my self worth on the client. I could be confident, work in my own style, get paid, and feel proud of the work I was doing.
And so I kept putting coal in the train. I started getting training as a Somatic Sex Educator, which I’m still working on. And I re-committed to mashing my business, my skillbuilding, and my spiritual-portal into the same cobbler. My path continues to reveal itself as exploring an intersection of intimacy, sexuality, gender, kink, spirituality, communication, community-building, and group facilitation.
I call myself a Sex, Relationship, and Intimacy Coach. I appreciate exploring deeper and deeper layers of intimacy and shameless authenticity, while building the skillset of guiding others into such spaces. I also love holding space for individuals and groups; it’s the ultimate EQ challenge to develop a microculture that fosters participants’ expansion into themselves.
I’ve gotten back into content creation. Blogging is just super fucking fun, and I plan to dust off the ol’ podcast in Q4. I just wrote a draft of an e-book about how to use personal growth to deprogram your internalized patriarchal narrative, through a non-binary lens. It’s the longest piece I’ve written, and it was a hell of a doozy to get through. I imagine I’ll write a full-length sucker in the next few years.
Writing about gender so deeply helped facilitate my own process of discovering my worldview as non-binary. Essentially, I believe that the gender binary is a socially-constructed agreement that most people have bought into without realizing it (happy to talk about this more if that last sentence felt jarring). Further opening my gender expression and sexuality continue to entice my explorer’s spirit, and both journeys continue to terrify me each step of the way.
Through my last 4 years in Seattle I’ve been co-building an intentional community called Confluence with a handful of remarkable folks. This entity has held me through my ups, downs, and sidewayses. We’ve marched into very bizarre corners of human connection. I’ve learned a shit-ton about consent, facilitation, teamwork, honesty, communication, and cleanliness. I’m incredibly proud of what we’ve built together, and the insane amount I’ve learned about community building and culture creation.
One of my housemates is Angela. They’re also my partner, lover, collaborator, and friend. We’re poly, and walking hand-in-hand into the unknown.
I’m still growing in my understanding of abundance and business-savvy. I feel like I have my business-feet under me and can see the way forward. Though I fully accept that the road is long and will endlessly require further study. Patience and humility have been core lessons of my last several years. I also care about social justice and understanding my own privileges in the world, and am a bit puzzled at the moment on how to blend the social justice narrative with the abundance narrative.
My guess is that I’ll be in Seattle 1 more year (maybe more). I want to put a ton of effort into community building, collaboration, and event production whilst here (reach out if you have ideas to team up on!). After that Angela and I are considering hopping around Europe to visit intentional communities. The hope is to deepen my education on how to build community and culture, as I have a desire to co-build a semi-permanent eco-village down-the-road with whoever shares a similar goal. I’m also considering getting a Masters in Europe, cuz…why not! The future feels pretty TBD. As always.
I feel grateful that so many inspiring, kooky, and on-their-own-path humans have touched my heart and impacted my life over the years. Heck, if you’re reading this, there’s a damn good chance you’re one of such folks! One of the hardest parts of life for me is acknowledging that all connections change. Some have short life-spans. Some come back around. A golden few stay around. Goodbyes are a painful part of the game. It’s impossible to keep in full touch with everyone – and that sucks.
If you’re reading this and you and I haven’t kept in as good of touch as either of us may have hoped at one point: fuck. I probably still have a big place in my heart for you.
That’s all I got. See y’all around.
❤