12/7/2020
I just splashed into my 31st year yesterday (ie 30th birthday). Passing through this arbitrary time threshold has brought up quite a host of reflections. Below are 30 lessons I learned this past year (an idea borrowed from Chris Sparks). Maybe some of these will resonate with your learnings too!
1 There are times in life where you want so desperately to have a mission to pour yourself into, but you don’t know what it is. Be patient, and keep fanning your lust for purpose. When the time is right, the path will reveal itself
2 Worldviews are tools. Different worldviews lead to different actions and different results. You can switch up how you view the world day to day in order to create more life flow
3 Good sex means not having any goals – not orgasm, not erection, not even arousal. Just following the flow of pleasure with your partner (or just yourself) and seeing where the ride takes you
4 Only start books that you believe you will finish. Finish all books that you start
5 Every time money comes in, always pay yourself first into savings. At least 10% !
6 Kneel before a tree and ask to connect with Mother Nature, and you will feel grief and have access to tears
7 Your money isn’t your money. It’s God’s money, and you are just managing it. Use that lens to act in accord with more kindness and generosity
8 Unless you have actually considered that one legitimate possibility in life is to kill yourself – ie *choosing* not to live – then you are not fully *choosing* to live, you’re doing it by default
9 Every small goal achieved builds confidence that reaching bigger goals is possible
10 You tend to reach goals when your orientation towards them is playful and non-attached. When succeeding in a goal feels life or death, any result feels destabilizing
11 Action always creates more action
12 If you feel aversion to the people closest to you, this could be a canary in the coalmine that you need more alone time or re-balancing on a grander scale
13 You can ask your body the question: “Is this decision wise?” And you will get a trustworthy answer
14 Worldviews are metaphors. We can never know what reality is, we can only interpret it through metaphor
15 Sleep comes first! Always get 9 hours!
16 You only get one family. They may not understand you, but they touch into a deeper cord, and being in connection with them is important
17 Grief and gratitude are two sides of the same coin. Grief at the tragedy and pain of consistent change and loss. Gratitude at the depth of preciousness of each moment and each person
18 Your sexuality is not pre-fixed, it will grow based on the media you consume and the people you engage with
19 Sales feels gross for all involved when you’re attached to an outcome. If you’re not attached, it’s just helping someone find clarity on what they want, and supporting them to get it by the most resonant means
20 To be a great leader you must empower others into their leadership, and act as a beacon of generosity, integrity, and virtue. Others may not realize just how impactful you are while you are in leadership, but if/when you leave, the impact is felt to be shockingly deep and yet the community can handle it in their own power
21 Gender is completely made up by society. It’s an arbitrary division of interests, emotions, and roles that cuts a child’s potential in half based on the genitalia they’re born with
22 To work through the patriarchy we must grieve the pains of men’s oppression of women. We must repattern how we relate to our genders to become healthier, more integrated men and women. And ultimately we must see through the illusion of gender and transcend the binary altogether
23 The Universe is an expression of infinite Light that takes the form of matter. As people, we must do 3 things: become aware of the Light moving through us (spiritual awakening), align our actions with the flow of nature (live with the Tao), and continue to evolve our consciousness/ideas/power. Evolution of power without nature-alignment will absolutely lead to humanity’s demise
24 There are two types of goals: yang goals where you lay out a quantifiable outcome and the steps to get to it, and yin goals where you put forth a desired intention and let it happen on its own. Both work
25 It’s pretty easy to strike up a deep life-chat with a stranger. Just pretend like they are already a good friend and start talking to them
26 No matter how amazing or rough life gets, you can always have Trust in something greater. That you are held, that this is all happening for you. You can never max out on Trust
27 Generosity is the active form of kindness, and is the expression of God. Generosity loosens the grip of scarcity you have on money, knowledge, influence, and time. It creates the feeling of abundance
28 If you care about a relationship (with a person or thing) in my life, you must take regular breaks from it
29 Being in Nature brings to light your unique Genius. Living in accord with your Genius is fucking hard, but it’s what our world needs to help us tune back up with Nature.
30 When all is said and done, you will never regret creating deep relationships and learning to love deeper
❤