Have you ever had a sexual encounter where you pretended to enjoy what was happening, when in actuality you were wishing for it to end? Or been in a sexual interaction where something spiked an anxiety and you got trapped in your head and couldn’t connect with your partner any more? Or simply gone along with your partner’s desires without ever asking yourself what you actually wanted? I know from much experience that those places all suck ass (not in the good kind of way!), and if you too can relate, I invite you to read on.
Sex is intensely vulnerable. We are being asked to expose our deepest desire in a moment of unfiltered spontaneity. If you’re at all like me, then you probably have had a ton of conditioning that has locked up your desires. An internalized sense that, on some level, your sexual desires are bad, wrong, or just hard to find.
When your conditioning overpowers your authentic arousal, then you probably feel a lot of pressure in your sex. Depending on your unique conditioning, that pressure can look differently: male-bodied folks are told they must be dominant, aggressive, and rock-hard; female-bodied folks are told they must please their partner, they must always look sexy for others’ eyes, and that their desire comes second; other cultural conditioning may tell us that our desires and arousal are flat-out sinful, bad, or abnormal. You’ve got your own unique template of conditioning that blocks you from experiencing the depth and riches of your sexuality.
If your conditioning is getting in the way of your free sexual expression, it can be incredibly painful and complex. You may feel anxiety, shame, insecurity, or pressure. You may even have a sense that until your sexuality feels liberated, that you are not living into your power. That your confidence and general self-worth are sputtering.
I know all these pains firsthand. For most of my life sex was TERRIBLE. It was a place where I pretended to be someone I wasn’t in order to please my partners and hide from myself. I did this for years. I was terrified of my desires and had no boundaries. My sexuality, a huge part of my being, was something I was deeply ashamed of. I spent several years celibate, so I wouldn’t have to deal with how uncomfortable my sexuality was.
I’m a pretty obsessive person. And I became obsessed with finding pleasure and freedom in my sexuality. It took a LOT of work. It’s taken many mentors, loving partners, classes, workshops, books, courses, sex-positive environments, and hundreds of hours of self-pleasure practices to find a place where sex is fun, enjoyable, and integrated with my spirituality.
Opening up my sexuality has opened up my confidence in myself tremendously. I feel grounded and sure of myself in ways I never thought possible before. I humbly admit I still have a long, long way to go – but through these difficult fucking trials I’m very proud to have come so far. And I want to share my knowledge and create a transformational space for others to heal and catalyze their own sexual journeys.
Pleasure and Liberation
To live into your birthright, and create a liberated sexuality for yourself, you must transcend your conditioning and learn to trust the objective compass of pleasure. Pleasure doesn’t care if your parents are homophobic, or if you were trained to be a good girl, or if your teammates would call you a ‘bitch’ for not conforming. Regardless of your conditioning, pleasure will lead you to what feels good. Listening to your pleasure is a skill.
When it comes down to it, sex is about two things. Feeling good and consent. Feeling good looks different to different people at different times in their lives. It may be getting tied up with rope, or being called ‘daddy,’ or simply entrancing in ecstatic presence with your partner. Sometimes what feels good in the moment can be hard to predict.
I want you to have an intimate and trusting relationship with your own pleasure. I want you to know and love your desires deeply. I want you to develop a deep embodied knowledge of your sexual energy. I want you to feel whole and hardy as a person through deepening your sexuality.
Your Sexuality Matters
Sexual wellness is important. Sexuality is something deeper than humanity. It’s something that every animal does. It’s what nature is made of. Sexuality is intrinsic to being alive. When we can’t access the fullness of our sexuality, we are blocked off from the original creative essence.
And sexuality is a powerful place to find growth in ourselves. I have a belief that all growth is interconnected. When we make a change in some part of our being, it ripples into all other parts. For example, if I’m able to cross a threshold of fear and ask my partner for that terrifying thing that I really want, then I am building the same muscle that allows me to ask my boss for that terrifying thing I really want. And so creating a situation where my partner is sitting on my face may also help me to create the situation where I’ve gotten the raise I felt I deserved. For this reason, I view sexuality as an incredibly powerful portal to transform ourselves. A playground for our personal growth.
To move towards your own sexual liberation won’t just make your sex life more enjoyable, it will make you feel more whole in yourself. More accepting and loving of yourself. More powerful in your desires and your expression. Liberating and catalyzing your sex is a gateway to liberating and catalyzing your entire life. I fully believe this.
Journeying Into Sexuality is a six-week program carefully designed to help you transcend your conditioning and find your pleasure in sexuality. This will be a deepdive into your sexuality to catalyze your sexual growth, further dismantle your sexual conditioning, find freedom in your sexual expression, deepen into your sexual journey, and find greater erotic embodiment.
Depending on who applies, and how good of a fit each candidate is, there will be between 4 and 8 participants. The program will require a strong commitment from everyone. For these weeks we will be on a team, pushing and supporting each other to stretch.
Throughout these six weeks we will meet once a week for two hours. I will facilitate each two-hour call. On each call we be building a transformational container together. A unique magic will emerge between all of us that will allow for radical acceptance of all of our parts, and a depth of empowerment to further become who we really are.
Each call will have a different theme. The six themes are
1. Healing Shame
2. Embodying Pleasure
3. Taste and Desire
4. Sexual Creativity
6. Boundaries and Consent
Each call will consist of both pre-planned and spontaneously intuited activities that will involve: sharing deeply and vulnerably about your experience (maybe sharing things you’ve never actually shared before); expressing your pleasure (in its raw form and mixed with other emotions) while being lovingly witnessed; practicing and cultivating skill in intimate energetic exchange; embodiment exercises; as well as other activities that are difficult to generically categorize.
There will be about 90 minutes of homework between each call. Homework will include sexual-related writing, expressing, creating, watching videos, and filling out surveys. I will also set you up with a self-pleasure practice to do 3-times a week. I will give you new tools each week to integrate into your self pleasure practice. Your self-pleasure practice will be a huge building block of this program.
In this space, all genders and sexual orientations are welcome. All stories and backgrounds are welcome.
This will be a space for you and other participants to open up your sexual journey. It will not be a space to hit on other people. We will be bearing witness in support of each others’ transformation. Sometimes arousal comes up when we are witnessing – this is okay. There will be space to voice this safely. But I want to reiterate that this is a space to join forces in growth and transformation, not to sexually engage with each other or find a partner. After the program ends, you are welcome to interact with other participants however you wish.
There is a more detailed set of agreements that I’ll ask each participant to sign before entering the container.
I’ve run many programs over the years, and I’ve found these 7 pillars to make for an impactful collective experience.
- The Power of Witnessing – When others lovingly witness us express new parts of ourselves, it has the effect of dissolving shame, and integrating those parts of us into ourselves
- Total Permission – When we let others express their darkest and most shameful parts, we allow them fuller access to themselves.
- Deep Sharing – When we share parts of our being that we don’t usually, or ever, talk about, we get to know ourselves better and more fully accept ourselves
- Supportive Container – When it feels like everyone else in the program is on your side, it gives you power you didn’t know you had.
- ACTION – Our life is ultimately the culmination of every action we’ve ever taken. If you want to grow and evolve, you must take new actions.
- Commitment – When everybody feels fully ‘in,’ something happens where the container becomes a lot deeper and creates more transformation for everyone involved.
- Experiencing and Digesting Intimacy – When we experience an intensity with ourselves, with another person, or with life, we all of a sudden have a whole new range of life experience that we can process into our own growth and wisdom.
If you commit to this program, show up to each call in earnest, hold nothing back, and complete the weekly homework, then I strongly believe you will
- Find greater healing for any sexual shame and conditioning pressures
- Develop more confidence in your sexual expression
- Create deeper and more resonant intimacy with current or future partner/s
- Increase your understanding and agency of your sexual energy
- More deeply know and accept your desires
The program cost is $299.
Sex and The Bigger Picture
We live in a time where wisdom, purpose, and sanctity are not woven into us through our society. People are not encouraged into who they really are, and instead the overarching social narrative edges us into consumption, production, and numbing.
We’re in an existential period of human history where our environment needs each and every one of us to be woken up into our unique purpose.
We need people to take control of their own value set and their own life. We need people to transcend their conditioning and pursue their most meaningful and purposeful life. Both because it will create happier people, and because purposeful lives will help move society in a direction where it begins to harmonize with the natural world again.
By discovering your own sexual truth, beneath all the layers of conditioning, you can further approach who you really are. When you start to look under stones in one area of life, it unhinges the whole oppressive cultural system, and you can begin to claim who you are elsewhere too.
I believe that committing to your own growth and healing, sexual and otherwise, is part of your own call to purpose. That this work is a step towards healing and harmonizing our planet and species.
Hit Me Up
Lastly, I want to note that you don’t need this program. I have full trust that you are empowered enough to heal, grow, and catalyze your sexual journey on your own. This program is one option of many to assist you on your journey.
I’ve put many hours and lots of attention into both my own sexuality and my skillset in facilitating a group experience. I believe that I can offer an experience that will deeply nourish and impact your sexuality. And, I don’t think you need to do this program.
That said, if this program sounds like it may be the right next step for you, I invite you to click this link to send me a message so that we can set up a call.
Much love. Mike