Intimacy coaching

From the intellect to the body

You’re ambitious, career-oriented, and love reading books.

You’re great with ideas, and you have a powerful mind.

But for some reason, you can’t quite figure this “intimacy” thing out. 

Maybe every time you date someone, it seems to invariably go up in flames. 

Maybe you’ve connected with romantic partners, but have never felt truly seen or known, and never felt truly close with the other person. 

Maybe you just don’t know how to get what you want in an intimate connection with another person, so you always leave relationships feeling dissatisfied. 

Or maybe you have huge trust wounds and opening up with another person feels dangerous.

Whatever the case may be, you’ve excelled in the parts of life that require mental problem solving, but could use support on how to slow down and find fulfillment in an intimate, embodied connection with another human.

You might feel frustrated at your intimate history, or hopeless that you can ever find a deep connection.

But let me assure you, you’re in the right place. I want to help you invite in a life full of intimate connection that opens your heart.

I get it

I know what it’s like to hide from being seen. To have a long list of romantic relationships that ended in disaster, and unsure why they all kept falling apart. To feel terror at opening my heart to another person, let alone allowing another person to love me.

I did not make eye contact with another person for more than a half a second until 2014. The vulnerability was too intense. But at my first Burning Man I stumbled into an “eye-gazing” workshop, where I made sustained eye contact with strangers for minutes. This was revolutionary for me, and it opened a path of lifelong inquiry into the nature of intimacy. 

Since then I’ve been studying how to create intimacy. I co-founded an intentional-community 5 years ago which has become a practice ground for exploring different types of human connection. I’ve studied life coaching, sacred sexuality, and improvisational partner dance. I’ve led countless workshops helping others create intimacy. 

I spent the first half of my life terrified of intimacy. Terrified of being seen. But I’ve come to realize that there is nothing more important, meaningful, or sacred than deep, vulnerable, meaningful moments of connection with another person.

And as my way of contributing to our human species, and its place in the cosmos, I want to teach others how to create more intimacy for themselves.

Intimacy can be learned

Intimacy is a skillset and a way of being. I want to teach you what I know.

You, just like everyone else, have patterns that come up in all of your intimate connections. Maybe you can’t find your desire, or when things start to feel vulnerable you want to run, or after your partner opens up you tend to abandon them.

I want to offer you an intimacy sandbox. A place to practice intimacy, and slow down when your patterns emerge so that you can understand them and shift them.

In this work, there will be no genital touch and no lip-to-lip kissing.

With those boundaries in place (and any additional boundaries you or I choose to set upfront), we will have a container to explore the depths of intimate connection.

I’ll be holding the container, but I’ll also be fully in it with you. I’ll share my fears, desires, and insecurities. I’ll model full transparency and embodied consent.

Each session will be emergent based on what arises, but some ways of relating might be:

  • Eye gazing
  • Somatic activities to practice consent
  • Powerplay / roleplay scenes
  • Massage
  • Dance
  • Feeling emotions together
  • Vulnerable heartsharing

We’ll engage in the depths of intimacy in connection, and then zoom out to process. How did that land for you? What came up for you?

Through this work I hope for you to come in deeper touch with yourself, and to understand how to take others into deeper presence than they’ve known before. I want you to become a highly skilled intimate communicator who tastes the fullness of life through deep connection.

What else to expect

Inevitably your shame, traumas, and insecurities will arise. We’ll get to slow time down, and give love to those parts of you, healing old wounds.

You’ll receive real-time, in the moment feedback on how you show-up. So you can understand ways that you engage that bring others closer and ways that push them away.

You’ll get to practice finding your desire – mentally, emotionally, and physically – and building up the muscle of asking for what you want.

I am willing to go into as deep of intimacy as you want to go.

Parameters

We’ll meet for 180 minutes four times over the course of two months – you can choose how to pace the sessions.

I’ll be available to connect via email M-Th.

The investment is $1500.

If you do feel like there’s deeper intimacy you want to experience, and to learn the connection skills to sustain a meaningful partnership, I want to support your journey to becoming a deeply embodied, attuned lover.

If you’d like to feel out if this could be a fit, please set up a free 90-minute Discovery Call.