In this post, I’m going to talk about something I really struggle with.
Overdoing things.
And then I’ll share a super cool tool to help you learn when you might be overdoing some part of your life so that you can find balance.
Different Types of Overdoing It
Overdoing things has always been a challenge for me.
“Ooh, that bite of pizza was so good!” 6 slices later, I feel sick and bloated.
“Ooh, that hit of weed made me feel so open and creative!” 4 hits later, and I’m spiraling into anxiety.
“Ooh! That Zoom catchup was super fun.” Next thing I know, I have booked my calendar 4 weeks out with Zoom calls.
The ol’ “too much of a good thing” syndrome.
In its most extreme, I burnt out very badly in 2018 on work. So badly, I actually had to quit my coaching career for several years to recuperate. I was feeling like this poor kiddo:
But over the years I’ve learned how to sniff out burnout symptoms sooner and sooner. And that’s what I’ll share below.
A Nifty Tool to Measure If You’re Overdoing Some Part of Your Life
Check out this fun wheel I drew 🤓
I’ll walk you through how to use it below.
Engaging with something (whether a side hustle, a partner, a hobby, etc.) tends to go in a 5 stage cycle.
For simplicity, I’m going to use eating cookies to demonstrate each stage, but the principle can be applied to anything.
Stage 1: Rich
This is when the activity feels so damn enjoyable. It’s when the cookie tastes amazing.
This stage will NOT last forever.
The 1st cookie might be orgasmic. But the 5th will be a painful one-way ticket to Diarrheaville.
However, if you eat 1 cookie per day instead of per minute, then your fifth cookie might be as orgasmical as your first.
Stage 2: Signs to slow
This is when subtle signs emerge that you need to slow your roll. The second cookie might not taste quite as good as the first.
If we can notice the signs to slow, and then break accordingly, then our activity will quickly go back into Stage 1.
The signs to slow come through as signals in your body. So you actually have to slow down and check in with yourself. Do I actually want this second cookie? Or am I running off a mental idea or an outdated desire? What is my present-moment desire?
Stage 3: Need a break
This is when the thing is starting to hurt. Your stomach hurts from too many cookies.
Usually, the signs in this stage are hard to ignore. But if you try hard enough, you definitely can ignore them! If you notice you need a break, take one. Taking a break will skip you to stage 5.
Stage 4: Overdone!
If you ignore the stage 3 alerts and keep pushing forward, you’ll get overdone. Cooked too long, like a burnt lasagna. This is when you’re in a burnout space.
Everything in you is screaming for you to take space.
This is when you go for cookie number 7 and your body starts to panic and is like “you dumb bitch, no more fucking cookies or I’m going to barf on your crotch!.” And in some cases, you might actually take it to that point.
Stage 5: Slowly re-integrate
Ok, so at this point you’ve taken space either because you realized you needed to, or because your body forced you to.
Ideally, you should take as long of a break from your project/hobby/etc as you need.
Eventually, before diving all the way back in, you’ll start to feel glimmers of interest in re-engaging in slow ways. It won’t come all at once.
This might be eye-ing cookies in the store for the first time since your soiled-crotch incident.
Once you recover enough, you can re-enter back into Stage 1. But if you try to come back too early, you’ll skip into Stage 2 or 3. You need ample space to go all the way back into Stage 1.
A Personal Example of Me Overdoing It
Just to hit the point home, here’s a short example that I just went through.
I was overdoing it on my creative career ventures.
- Stage 1: Rich. At first, all my studies and projects were feeling unbelievably stimulating. I couldn’t stop writing and reading about creativity.
- Stage 2: Signs to slow. The creativity course I’m taking was starting to feel less interesting. I also noticed a subtle desire to take space from my weekly mastermind group, but I wasn’t sure why.
- Stage 3: Need a break. I was starting to feel disembodied because I was writing too much and everything was becoming a project of analysis. I also started to feel repulsed at the idea of writing or thinking about creativity.
- Stage 4: Overdone. Fortunately I was able to dodge Stage 4, because I took a break before getting overcooked.
- Stage 5: Slowly re-integrate. After a few days of cold turkey, my interest in writing started to turn on again. I noticed I was starting to daydream about SEO ideas again. I didn’t jump all the way back in, but could feel myself toe-ing the water.
- Stage 1: Rich. And then I felt ready and dived back in! And I am back in Stage 1 as I’m writing this newsletter.
In an Ideal World
Ideally, you’ll live in Stage 1. It’s where the inspiration, creativity, motivation, and magic happen.
And right when you get to Stage 2, you’ll notice, take a little space, then go back into Stage 1.
But of course, this is easier said than done.
A Super Useful Activity to Try
Now it’s your turn!
You can actually use the wheel model above to assess different areas of your life and identify where they fall on the wheel.
Where does life feel rich, and where are you smelling burnt lasagna?
All you have to do is:
Pick some of the major commitments or projects in your life, and plot where each one is on the wheel.
If anything is in Stage 2, 3, or 4, consider taking some space from it until it moves back to Stage 1.
Here’s what it looked like when I did this activity a few days ago:
If You’d Like Support
If you would like support in your journey with burnout, I’d love to help.
I am currently taking on new coaching clients, so if you have a spark of intrigue, please reach out by filling out this form and setting up a free discovery call.
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💕 Mike