In my experience of sexuality I find the societally-normatized spectrum of [straight <—> gay] to be comically incomplete.
I believe there are mannnnnny scales of attraction that we all fall somewhere in the middle of.
And I’ve found that where I land in each of these scales also shifts over time.
There was a period of my life where the gay-straight paradigm caused me incredible stress. I knew I was not conventionally ‘straight,’ but there only seemed to be one other option, which didn’t sit true in my system either.
I’ve spoken with many men who have a fear of opening up their ‘straightness’ even a single inch, because any revelations would mean they were ‘gay.’
I want to stress that I believe sexual attractions to be multi-faceted, dynamic, complex, and utterly un-label-able. We’re all attracted to humans, and we all have entirely unique sexual expressions. The more you stop trying to control what arouses you, the more your authentic desire can come out.
Let yourself be weird. It’s cool to be weird 🙂
There are literally infinite scales, though here are a few major ones I’ve come across
–Attraction to cis-men
–Attraction to cis-women
–Attraction to trans-men
–Attraction to trans-women
–Attraction to androgynous folks
–Attraction to embodying male
–Attraction to embodying female
–Attraction leading (yang)
–Attraction to surrender (yin)
–Attraction to being dominant
–Attraction to being submissive
–Attraction to being tied up
–Attraction to tying up
–Attraction to embodied sensuality
–Attraction to fantasy
–Attraction to specific body parts
–Attraction to specific articles of clothing
–Attraction to particular role-playing dynamics
–Attraction to sexualized spiritual experience
–Attraction to sexualized emotions (eg shame, fear, sadness, or anger)
–Attraction to receiving pain
–Attraction to giving pain
–Attraction to taboo
–Attraction to your own body in the mirror (autosexuality)
–Attraction to anything (or nothing) at all (asexuality)
I hope this reflection gives even a little permission to someone out there.
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