Relationships can be tough
You love your partner dearly. That’s why you’re still together.
You’re both ambitious, creating interesting careers for yourselves. You hit it off years ago through long insightful conversations, endless laughter, and fulfilling sex.
And yet, over the course of time your relationship has become difficult.
Maybe your sexual connection has become completely dry.
Maybe you are starting to feel depressed, disconnected, and even lonely with your partner.
Maybe you’ve lost all sense of sex in your connection.
Maybe every conversation seems to turn into a fight.
Or maybe there’s an emotionally charged elephant in the room that you both avoid.
If any of these sound like your relationship, read on.
There are good reasons to be in a partnership
Nobody should have to feel caged off, disconnected, or alone in a partnership. When a partnership is thriving it is one of the most beautiful and meaningful parts of life. Bearing your soul, your heart, your sexuality, and your trust to another human. Diving into the unknowns of life hand-in-hand. Supporting another being in their healing, growth, and dreams.
Wouldn’t it be great to feel connected again, where you both make time for intimacy, and those moments are some of the best of your week?
Wouldn’t it be great to feel like kids together again?
Wouldn’t it be great to explore your sexuality together, and regularly drop into deep presence, connection, and aliveness?
Wouldn’t it be great to feel like you’re fully on the same team, and you can talk about literally anything with each other without fear of how the other person will react?
Wouldn’t it be great to have a relationship where you foster each others’ evolution, help move each other towards your biggest dreams, heal each others’ deepest wounds, and bring out each others’ truest authenticity?
This type of relationship is possible. It’ll take some work, some new tools, and some commitment. But it is possible.
Before learning how to get back into connection, it’s useful to know what we’re up against.
Why creating an thriving, honest, and sexual sparkling relationship isn’t easy
To get back into connection, you’re fighting against some big beasts.
You’re fighting against our mainstream society that tells us that there is a narrow “right” way for sex and partnership to look, or else you’re doing it “wrong” (bleh!).
You’re fighting against Netflix, and the constant enticement to watch a movie together instead of exploring each others’ souls.
And you’re fighting against a disconnected culture that never taught us how to truly listen, how to set boundaries, how to get our needs met.
To create a relationship that is sexually vibrant, unshakeably honest, and feels like home is no easy task. But if you have the following four criteria, you can do it.
What you need for a thriving partnership
I’ve found that any connection can thrive if both people cultivate the following:
- Desire to be connected. You both need to want to find a way forward in your connection. You both need to commit to growing together and learning how to be better lovers and partners. As long as you both share the desire to deepen your connection, you can do so.
- The ability to communicate through anything. You’ll need to practice communication and learn new tools. But if you can both feel fully understood and felt by each other no matter what comes up, then you can always stay connected.
- Commitment to honesty and vulnerability. You can only find the truth of your connection if you both commit to always telling the truth to each other – no matter how scary it is, and by prioritizing being in connection over being “right.”
- Prioritize each other. To grow a relationship you must carve out time for intimacy, sexual exploration, and body-to-body presence without any media.
With these qualities you can get what you want out of your connection.
And if you choose to work with a coach, they can hep you cultivate these four qualities and ultimately find the magic of your connection again.
So what does it actually look like to work together?
How to get there
Firstly, I want to be clear that developing your relationship will take time. A healthy connection will give you energy and make life better, but you have to water the plant.
I can help you find the clarity of what’s happening in your connection, give you tools to better communicate, offer you accountability to prioritize each other, and share intimacy activities and rituals to help you feel closer than ever.
I don’t have a one-size-fits-all curriculum. My work with each couple will look different. But here are some staples that I weave into my coaching.
- Talk coaching. I’ll ask questions, offer perspectives, and reflect back truths that I see. Through being witnessed and held by a third party, you’ll see your relationship from a new perspective and understand more deeply what is happening in your connection
- Communication tools. I’ll offer new ways of sharing needs, hurt, emotions and give you space to practice together. I’ll help you pull out your truest desires and find the deepest thorn in your connection
- Working through conflict real-time. Invariably, we’ll step on landmines in session, and conflicts will emerge. We’ll use these as an opportunity to slow down to notice what is actually happening with each of you and in the connection. We can further practice new ways of relating here.
- Experiments. Together we’ll co-craft weekly experiments for you both to try. These experiments will emerge in the session as a way to further practice and solidify any learnings that came up. Some weeks I may make proposals, other weeks you might, other weeks we may come up with ideas together. This could be creating a week-long dom-sub dynamic, or practicing different love languages, or expressing to the other every time you feel annoyed.
- Embodied intimacy practices. I will guide you through practices and rituals to help you connect vulnerably, and intimately with each others’ hearts. We’ll also heal and trust wounds preventing you from fully opening up to each other
- Consent. Our whole work together will be framed in helping each of you develop an embodied sense of your own consent so that you can buld a relationship on the foundation on both of your “yesses” and ditch or reform the “no’s” you have in your connection
- Mindset. Our work will be founded on the orientation of you two being on the same team. I’ll help you discover and name your shared values together, clarify your vision as a couple, and identify your strengths as a partnership.
- Weekly date night. I’ll need you to commit to a weekly date night that includes some form of physical intimacy. You can make it your own each week, but the commitment to each other is paramount.
- Mindful erotic practice. I’ll ask each of you to engage in a solo mindful erotic practice where you explore your own erotic energy at least twice a week.
We’ll meet for 90 minutes 3 times a month. And once a month for 45-mintues for a feedback call, to make sure you’re getting what you want out of our work together.
I’ll be available to connect via email M-Th.
The investment for 3-month package is $3000, and for a 6-month package is $4500.
If you believe in the power of partnership, and want to find that magic again with your partner, I want to help you find the closeness, love, and excitement in your relationship again.
If you’d like to feel out if this could be a fit, please set up a free 60-minute discovery call.
I’ll first get on a free discovery call with each of you individually, and then together as a couple.